This morning I woke up to an irritatingly loud spanking sound that could only mean one thing: millions of my brethren had their panties up in a bunch! I quickly glided out of my Cher-printed duvet, put on my Marilyn wig, slipped into my bunny slippers and rushed to check the news. From coast to coast, my fellow homosexypants were crying “Foul!”, “Mary, stop!” and “Bitch please!” at President-elect Obama‘s choice for his inaugural pastor. Rick Warren, as many of you know, is no friend of the homosucculents (but if his Republican leanings–and I’m just guessing here–are anything to go by, he is a friend of the public-bathroom foot tappers, but that’s a whole other story.) Anyhoobie, Joe Solmonese, the president of the HRC and American Way president Kathryn Kolbert have expressed their concern, disrespect, shock, awe, disbelief, outrage, and other euphemisms for pissed-offness at Obama’s choice.
And I say: relax, ladies and ladies-impersonators. Are we to take Obama’s every choice as reflective of his own belief system? Absolutely not. Time and time again, Obama has stated that he aims to use as many diverse building blocks as circumstances (and logic) would allow in constructing his cabinet so that every American would feel represented. It is only through the revering of difference and the inclusion of Otherness (especially regarding minority status, something that Obama is all too familiar with, needless to say) that the oh-so-tiresome Us vs. Them national bifurcation can be mitigated and overcome. Obama did not elect Warren to hold a prominent position in his cabinet; he did not appoint him to the Supreme Court; he did not announce him to replace Biden as his veep; and he did not change his own stance on LGBT rights. It is only fair that we inspire those who are against us to love us by loving them, to accept us by accepting them, and to grant them the very same equality and access that we so fervently fight for. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to rehearse for my Holidays party tonight, I think I’ll be performing Cher’s “A Different Kind of Love Song.”