Market Daze

If I ever get the urge to see something new, refreshing and beautiful, I put on a wig and stare in the mirror. It helps. Or if I ever feel lost (“where did I put my Chanel?”), confused (“what did I do with my Chanel?”), or angry (“why do I not have enough Chanel?”), I go to the one thing that provides me with comfort, confidence and direction: my reflection.

That said, not everyone has the privilege of seeing me whenever they are in need of visual superiority, which is why a great place to check out this weekend is Lakeview’s Market Days. In addition to the many cuts of, umm… beef (they call it “Market” for a reason) and the huge variety of abs and pecs, revelers will also have the option of watching live music on the Belmont, Roscoe and Addison stages with performances by Jennifer Holliday (aka the original girl who’s telling you she’s not going), Think Floyd, Expose and Powder. The squillion stands would provide you with the option of getting a Bud Light, booking your next vacation with Orbitz (a favored destination spot for many gays is my bedroom–I’m just sayin), buying a ticket with the Illinois Lottery, signing up for subscription with Instinct Magazine, and get a membership with Crunch Fitness, and–to those who are truly lucky–the opportunity to see me.


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