Archive for May, 2008

Sex And The Sexy Windy City

May 30, 2008

Okay, so let’s look at the evidence: long blond hair extensions, bitchin’ heels, fabulous couture and hordes of gorgeous men. No, my little soldiers of glamour, I am not talking about the SATC premiere that people will not stop blabbing about (and by “people” I mean hot, stunning people endowed with fierceness and shockingly good taste, so please, don’t aim that spiky heel at me). Rather, I am talking about the latest scandal to involve yet another closeted governor. *Sigh*… they never learn, do they? Now, before you all hurl your freshwater pearls at me, let me state that for the record I have no idea who that governor is, but if the past few years are anything to go by, he’s out there, he’s a gorgeous mess, and he’s partying with a tranny.

Okay, so since we do not know who the scandalous governor is I suggest we discuss–oh well, what the hec–the SATC Premiere! So, while this is a truly remarkable event for a squillion women worldwide, let us not forget all the loyal homosexymen who have been worshipping the show from its first episode, when Carrie had sex like a man, something many of the aforementioned homosexymen could relate to (ahem). Anyhoobie, from the sizzling men, to the bedazzled shoes, and to the deluge of cosmos, we’ve been there with Carrie (and Samantha, we have definitely been there with Samantha, lots of times). We, too, have learned our lessons through the iconic show (did I just say “iconic”? Holy Cher! Damn, did I just “Holy Cher”? What the Fierce? “Fierce”?!?! I can’t control it!) and all of its fabulous characters. And perhaps, most of all (pulls out Hermes handkerchief, pure silk, anchor & rope motif, vintage, very rare), we too, (sniff, sniff) have learned that the most important thing in life, (sniff), is finding a guy who goes by the name “Big.” Just ask your average governor.

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Will Illinois Be In The Top Three?

May 15, 2008

The California Supreme Court has just overturned the ban on gay marriage, making California the second state to realize that denying a homo of his rights to bridal registry is a sin against humanity. Seriously peeps, what took you so long? And what is taking Illinois so long? Do you not understand what that would do to the Chicago economy? If you think the display windows at Marshall Field’s (whatev, I’m still in denial) are pretty now, wait until the Illinois Supreme Court does the right thing and grant LGBTQF (the last one is for “Fierce”) individuals the right to be distracted by the boredom of quotidian living and plan an over-the-top (or over-the-bottom) ceremony. So common, put the self-tanner down (the whole thing about Summer is a myth anyway), and Do The Right Thing In Illinois.