Archive for April, 2008

Illusions, Delusions, and Things in Between

April 21, 2008

Some will tell you that the basic things in life are respect and love, which makes my crusade for fantasticality that much more complicated. How can I spread universal messages about art, culture and fake tan when I am being hindered by platitudes involving devotion to a whole other human being to whom you have no biological obligation? Why go through the hardships of relationships when you can spend all that time loving the one person you know and care about the most- me. So I want you all to walk away from this post feeling stronger, healthier and more in love with me.

But, I understand that not everyone loves me. Some people find me too….what’s the word I am looking for…perfect? I guess, it will do for now. So for those of you who feel mild confusion (although it will get clearer once you really focus on it, and by “it” I mean “me”), a great place to celebrate the beginning of the Sprinter (we’re not quite at Spring yet, my little naïve troupers of love), is the Museum of Contemporary Photography. Those who know me, all three of you, know that I have two big passions in life: free food and free drinks. But, a very close second is free dessert. BUT! A very close third is photography, and the current exhibition is no exception. Watch out for some of the most important Contemporary photographers right now. The works explore the relationship between architecture, photography, and reality. My favorites were Alexander Apostol’s turning of dilapidated buildings with antiquated revolutionary ties into inaccessible if precious porcelain houses. Equally brilliant and touching was Dionisio Gonzalez’ exposure of the subsequent failure in many government-sponsored urban projects; Chris Mottalini subtle meditation on loss and memory; and Josef Schulz’s eerily quiet Utopian scenes, which draw on the dangerous quest for the ideal. And by ideal, you guessed it, I mean me.

The Building Pictures exhibit will run through May 31st.

Dionisio Gonzalez

The MoCP’s very own and very lovely Eva Deitch, who was not too blinded by my dazzling tan, and was wonderfully helpful.


Chicago Arte Ahora!

April 18, 2008

Some of the most important thinkers of the 20th century, Kennedy, Lennon, Martin Luther King Jr., and I, are all united by our undying quest for an ideal world. (More on me in a minute, be patient.) And many others have joined us in our vision, each interpreting their version of utopia differently. Some fought for immigrants’ rights, some fought for women’s rights, and some fought with immigrants over their women. But no matter the cause, all were united by the common need to make this world a better place, for me. A world where men with real and fake tans join forces to serve me cocktails. A world where men are not judged by their race, but by the size of their pecs. A world where men of all walks of life, millionaires and billionaires alike, feel no trepidation in loving me. I would normally segue into my personal vision of utopia, but we have no time.

So, a good place to see part of my vision come to life is this weekend’s Chicago Arte Ahora. As the first Chicago art fair to showcase the best of Latin American art, the event will be held at the hip River Easy Art Center and hosted by its president, Mikki Markowicz.  Co-curators Aldo Castillo (of the renown eponymous gallery) and private dealer Thomas Monahan have assembled a most distinguished collection of artwork, which will include pieces by established and emerging artists alike. From legendary Wilfredo Lam, Rufino Tamayo, and Fernando Botero; to Diana Solis, Gretchen Minnhaar, and Raymundo Andrade, the exhibition will boast the incredible range within the sizzling hot Latin American art scene. The event benefits the Center on Halsted, one of the greatest proponents for diversity and tolerance in the Midwest, tirelessly advocating social and cultural integration. As a celebration of art, culture and equality, I could not think of a better place to be on Sunday April 20th, from 6-9pm. Opening night for the exhibition is Thursday, April 24th, starting at 5:30. So let the mystique tan dry, put the dumbells down, put together a fun, sleek look, and join the festivities.


A Battle Worth Remembering

April 9, 2008

There are certain battles that feel great to be a part of, especially if you’re the one coming out on top without ever making your opponent feel like they lost. There is a lot to be said for knowing how to fight. It is, to an extent, an art form, and it should come as no surprise that some of the most efficient fighting techniques require minimal exhaustion, and maximal exertion. The ability to get a point across, walking away unscathed, knowing that you won the battle without bullying or stampeding, but through eloquence and clarity, is incredibly satisfying. A battle worth remembering, is one where both sides walk away aware not only of the influence they had, but on the influence they felt.

Today, Wednesday, April 9th, representatives from Equality Illinois are going to the State House to lobby for recognition of Civil Unions in Illinois. It is thanks to their tireless and thankless efforts that we can strive to lead an environment of acceptance and diversity, and teach future generations how to choose their battles. To learn about a truly inspiring battle won through reason and love, read Laura Hester’s story, as told in the compelling and Academy Award winning movie, Freeheld, by Cynthia Wade. So if you, like me, are willing to voice your support for a change that will benefit millions of lives at the click of the mouse, please go to Civil Unions Illinois and know that you would have helped win one battle, peacefully.

I Heart Crappy Weather

April 8, 2008
What a stunning day. Something about waking up on the second week of April, two weeks into the Spring, and watching the the love child of dreary and depressing come to life in the sky. Bless. Also, there is a sense of comfort in knowing that you will get wet as soon as you leave your house. And not the fun kind of wet, like a foam party on Fire Island, or when your hot older cousin comes for a visit. This is different. This is the kind that leaves you soggy and vaguely smelly. Then again, maybe it is the same.
Anyway, here is a great website that should make the ride on the CTA at least somewhat more efficient. Good things happen when google mates with other sites. Have a safe ride, and by ride I mean the locomotive one, not the cousin.

Slightly Unbalanced

April 8, 2008

With James’s sister giving birth to twin girls (whose Jewish names I am still working out in my head, I have narrowed it down to Bluma, Goola, Stuma, and Henga—all stunning), I realize that there are so many misconceptions about babies. By and large, they are viewed as buttery lumps of stupid coated in cuteness. Actually that part is true—BUT!—a common misconception about babies is that their first word is “mama.” That’s just an ugly, pleated lie. And it’s not “papa” or “dada” or “caca” either. Actually, it is “oh, girl”, combined with a perfect 360-degree eye roll. At least that’s the way it works with me and any other creature who has blossomed into becoming a gorgeously beautiful man. (And if you do know one, send him my way, I take phone calls day and night, just please, no mail order grooms.) So yeah.

Now, keep in mind that I have no idea why I actually wrote what I did above, truth be told. However, a good place to embrace my inner neurotic Jew is “Slightly Unbalanced” at the Chicago Cultural Center. Oh, how I felt at home. Forget that the building is beautifulier—yep, real word— than those mansions reality show contestants are placed in while their fate is being decided by America (and by “America” I mean pre-pubescent girls with enormous braces). The exhibition features incredibly engaging works that deal with tension, anxiety, and the relationship between humans, their body and psyche. Some of my favorite pieces were the candid autobiographical works by Sophie Calle, the OCD photographs by Sarah Hobbs, the discomfort of watching growing pains in C-prints by Mike Kelley, and the disquieting multi-media works by Tony Oursler. All divulged some deeply intimate autobiographical details that in some strange way had a universal resonance. The show helps demystify many myths about the “crazed artist”, and if anything, reveals the interconnecting theme of human vulnerability and quirkiness. I highly recommend it, and guess what, it’s free. It’s also on for one more week, so better unglue yourself from watching yet another Bravo re-run and hurry! So if you happened to be around Millennium Park, no excuses. Unless, of course, you’re busy teaching your baby how to say “oh, girl.”

Moi and Bourgeois

Shockingly shocking shock!

April 8, 2008

One of the more shocking news of the day, of course, was the British jury’s verdict that Diana’s death was “unlawful.” When I first read it I almost choked on my hypercaffeinated triple mocaccini with a shot of nonfat non-sugar high-protein carb-free corn-diluted ephedra-soaking milk (don’t judge, swimsuit season is like, right there.) How could this be?!?! What were these jurors saying?!?! I had to keep reading! So it took the jurors five days to deliberate over the $15m investigation to decide whether the French were right when they concluded the driver had had one too many mojitos (don’t judge, if you knew Buckingham was picking up the tab for your booze you would have asked that every drink be served in a bucket) AND that the paparazzi’s chasing the car contributed to the accident! Groundbreaking! Sen-sational!

Well, the good news is that it only took them a decade because this could have dragged on for eleven years, which is a lifetime. Secondly, we can all lay to rest those insane conspiracy theories about Care Bears abduction, involvement by National Yenta Association for the Advancement of Emu Awareness, and, of course, that nagging Kevin Federline connection, which I personally believe warrants further looking. But that’s just me.


Shock & bewilderment!

Hello world!

April 8, 2008

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